Squiggly Skill Sprint Day 12: Assertiveness

It’s day 12 of the Squiggly Careers sprint, and today’s topic is Assertiveness https://www.amazingif.com/listen/skills-sprint-assertiveness/

I find this a difficult topic to zone in on, as it is intertwined with all sorts of different angles. I would be tempted to say that the first thing to ask here is to do a “five whys” exercise on why assertiveness is a problem for someone.

For example, it might be an issue with an individual’s confidence. Many of the confidence gremlins that Helen and Sarah refer to can raise their heads here, for example a fear of conflict, a fear of senior people, or a sense of being too inexperienced.

I like the two approaches suggested today of having prepared strategies and answers ready to go when someone feels compromised in work. Both of the approaches are good general purpose mindsets, and also can lead to some interesting questions if someone is not comfortable with them. This again shows the value of the “why” questions, such as “Why would you not take this approach?”. I can easily see situations where individuals may not be happy with the approach, and that might show more underlying issues.

I also look at assertiveness from the other side, which is when you should be willing to accept assertiveness from others. There is a wonderful sentiment mentioned on the podcast, which is that hierarchy can bring barriers. I also can’t help but reflect on Rob Goffee & Gareth Jones’ excellent book “Why should anyone be led by you.” There is a wonderful sentiment there that it is easy to explain why someone should be managed by you, which is to point at an org chart, but why they should be led by you is something more profound.

One of my team said that I was a “great mix of benevolent and dictatorial”, which I took as a wonderful compliment. You should always give your people the freedom to make their own decisions and back them where necessary, but then be willing to put the foot down when needed. I can easily imagine any issues people have with assertiveness can be helped & coached by leaders, not managers, working with them transparently to understand the root of the issue.